Paul Desmond Adams – The Key Podcast

All Posts by Paul Desmond Adams

The Unseen Force Holding You Back.

Why You Should Listen to this Episode

Your performance or lack of performance is controlled by an unseen (but not unfelt) power within you. Most people don't realize it's there and certainly don't know how to control it.  After this episode you will.

The Secret Force Inside of You

Right now, there is a powerful force within you learning from everything you are experiencing and it's been doing that since before your birth. The reactions from your peers, the comfort from you mom, and even the events you only imagined happening, it's all programming this powerful force within you.

Everything it's been programmed with is influencing what you feel at any given time. When you're overwhelmed by a big task, when you feel anxious before stepping on a stage, when you feel nervous before you walk into a networking event...  it's all thanks to the power of this secret force. 

It's called your implicit memory system. Every human being operates with two types of memory, implicit and explicit. Your explicit memory is made of your visual or other sensory memories. When you recall your 10th birthday, that's your explicit memory. When you remember the car you had in high school, you're accessing your explicit memory. 

The other type of memory operating within you is your implicit memory. This is what keeps your body functioning with you giving an ounce of thought to it. Your implicit memory controls what you feel, not what you see. 

The Power of Your Implicit Memory

Your implicit memory resides in the "primitive" part of your brain which is the survival-based sector. This means, it's going to do whatever it needs to do to keep you alive. This part of your brain is always in record mode. Whether you're sleeping, awake, or even when you were still in your mothers womb, this part of your brain was recording. 

Your Primitive Brain will always overpower your Rational Brain. No matter how illogical it seems.

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Every single event which caused any type of trauma or unregulated flood of emotion in your body was noted by your implicit memory.

You may have felt embarrassed by a girl or had a teacher ridicule you in front of the class. Anything that raised up emotions you couldn't control would activate this part of your brain. 

When this flood of emotions or electro-chemical energy hits our brain, our survival system kicks in and releases tons of internal opiates which helps us cope with that emotion. It also splits this energy off from the rest of the brain and stores it in the lower brain where it sits frozen in time. 

Rearing It's (Not So) Ugly Head

This part of your brain can't differential between people, time, or place. That means, when it senses another threat to survival (remember, it's the primitive brain which is controlled by the survival instinct) even if it's not the same person, location, or if it happens to be 40 years later, it steps up and does it's best to stop the perceived threat.

This is why, when you get up on a stage to speak, your implicit memory will flood you with feelings to remind you of the threat it sees in your actions. It's recalling a time when you were younger and you experienced public shame from a similar event. Remember, it can't distinguish between people, time, or place. So, it only needs to be a loose association.

Remember, your implicit memory isn't something you SEE, it's something you feel. That's why you don't see it coming for you. You just look back and wonder why you got so nervous or why you didn't finish a project you started. It's all in the power of your implicit memory. 

How to Remove Negative Memories

The key to overcoming this powerful memory system is understanding that emotional memories can't be undone with our explicit memory or logical brain. 

This is why you positive affirmations or self-talk before a big presentation will only temporarily suppress your feelings, but not completely eliminate them.

You must have new positive emotional experiences to mix in with the previous negative memories. The operative word is EMOTIONAL experiences. These must be something you FEEL internally. 

The good news is, these don't have to be real experiences, they can be something you visualize as long as that vision brings up a strong positive emotion. 

John Explains in the Episode

If you want to learn more about the process of "memory reconsolidation" take a few minutes and listen to this episode. John goes into much more detail and gives excellent examples of how you can see massive increases in your performance by addressing your implicit memories. 

When you learn how to create new emotional experiences you will improve your performance, but when you learn how to completely remove these split off emotional memories, you'll move from force to flow. 

Most people achieve their goals through sheer force overcoming the power of their implicit memories. When you remove them, you will find yourself in a place where your maximum performance freely flows from you. 

Imagine never having to fight to stay on course. Imagine never having to struggle to get done what needs to be done. Imagine your success happening without even trying.  This is what's possible when you remove your emotional blocks. 

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Master This and You’ll Be Unstoppable!

What This Episode is About

Discover why most people struggle to perform at your very highest levels. It's not desire, talent, or even mindset.

You Can't Think Beyond What You Feel

Most high-achievers spend the majority of their time, effort, and money mastering their attitude, aptitude, and mindset, but overlook the one item that's most likely to keep them from their maximum human potential... their emotions.

The world is littered with talented people living mediocre lives. Too many talented people are stopped just short of their very best and they have no idea what stopped them. The desire was off the charts and no matter how many times they told themselves they could "do it" they always had something which got in the way and kept them from achieving their goals. 

Your Blocks Are Emotional Not Mental

Emotions rule your life and you most likely don't realize it because they operate from your "Implicit Memory" rather than your "Explicit Memory."

"You can't think or act beyond what you feel." - John Hawkins Jr.

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Remember your first kiss? You can probably still hear the song that was playing, or see the eyes of the person in front of you. You might even remember what they smelled like. These are all explicit memories, but they don't control you, your implicit memories are the ones with all the power in your life. 

When you asked that girl out and she laughed at you, it felt like a punch to your gut. You were humiliated and your mind was overcome with emotional energy. This overwhelming flood of energy gets split off by your brain and stored in your lower brain. 

In the future, when you need to put your ego on the line to pursue something important, that implicit memory will come back and you'll suddenly find yourself not moving forward. Afterwards you'll shame yourself because you we're strong enough or you'll tell yourself you didn't have a strong enough desire. Truthfully, it was your mind protecting you from what it knows may be a harm to you.

This happens to us all the time and we don't even know it. We just know we didn't achieve our goals.

The Power of Our Emotional States

When you realize how much negative emotional states can stop you, you'll get very excited about what the positive emotional states can do for you. 

Take a listen to this episode and discover the power of emotional blocks and what you can do to overcome them and replace your negative implicit memories with positive ones that will propel you to your full potential. 

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Do You Have a Dirty Why?

What This Episode is About

We take a look at why it’s critical for high achievers to have a strong “why” and the distinction between a “clean why” and a “dirty why.” 

You Must Get To Your Ultimate Why

Your “why” is your reason, your motivation, the thing that gets you up in the morning and keeps you going until the work is done.

Unfortunately, most people don’t know their real or ultimate why. We all seem to stop half way there, with something we refer to as your “intermediate why.” If someone tells me they’re why is to buy a boat and sail around the world, I know they haven’t really tapped into their ultimate why.

Your ultimate why will always create a deep “feeling state.” It must shift something within you on a deep emotional level.  Sailing around the world is great, but WHY do you want to sail around the world? What will that give you on an EMOTIONAL level?

Keep driving deeper into the emotional reason why you want something and you’ll eventually get to your ultimate why.  

Your Ultimate Why Could Be a Dirty Why

There are clean whys, dirty whys, and what most of us have, a murky why. It’s not really purely clean and certainly not dirty.

If you don't have your WHY, the HOWS will kick your ass!

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The difference between a clean why and a dirty why is based on your motive for your why. If you’re motivated to make someone else proud of you, that’s a dirty why. Keep in mind, there is nothing wrong with wanting someone in your life to be proud of you, but that shouldn’t be your ultimate why.

John mentions 3 key metrics to determine if you have a clean why.

  • Does it align with your passion?
  • Is it based in humility?
  • Does it fill you with gratefulness?

It is possible to achieve great levels of financial or material success with a dirty why, but it will never leave you feel peaceful and satisfied. This is the reason so many people chase their dreams and end up unfulfilled. They chased after a “dirty why.”

Ready to Discovery Your Ultimate Why?

John and Paul take a deep dive into finding your why and making sure it’s going to drive you to true fulfillment as well as the other rewards you may be seeking. Material or external success and internal success aren’t mutually exclusive. If you pursue the internal, the external rewards will show up.  

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Are Your Decisions Based on Fear or Wisdom

What This Episode is About

Have you ever taken a bold step and committed to doing something big? But then, just before you did it you changed your mind. Was it fear or was it wisdom that caused that change? We'll explore how to tell the different between fear and wisdom when it comes to your toughest decisions.

That's It! I'm Quitting my Job

In late 2018, Paul was running a local radio station while also working with several high-level clients launching their podcasts and building-out multiple marketing funnels. During his "free time" he was keeping up the 2 1/2 acres of land he owned along with their house. This was in addition to his work with the NFL and his responsibilities as a dad and husband. Phew!

It goes without saying, Paul was running on fumes and burning out quickly. He decided to put the house up for sale, use some of the proceeds from that sale to build a financial buffer and quit his job at the radio station so he could better help his existing clients and add a few more, increasing his income. 

After squeezing out the time to get the house ready for sale and entertaining several offers, he signed on a contract with a buyer and eventually closed on the home. He had the cash in hand but suddenly had a change of heart. He no longer wanted to quit the job and bring on more clients.

Hard Work Doesn't Have to be Painful

"I thought I was being irresponsible and not providing for my family."

Paul had been working with John Hawkins Jr on removing some internal blocks which were causing him to overwork in areas which didn't energize him. Through this process he realized these internal blocks kept his from seeing the financial value in the activities he loved doing.

Even though he didn't consciously realize it, Paul found out he was internally programmed to believe "honorable work" wasn't supposed to be something you enjoy. 

After multiple sessions with John, Paul realized his sub-cortical or subconscious brain was telling him he had to struggle and strain to earn an income. This was a powerful but hidden block which kept him from doing what he loved; performing for and entertaining others.

This all tied back to his father who grew up in severe poverty and instilled the notion that you weren't being responsible if you weren't working hard and "working hard" had to be painful.

Paul knew his dad wasn't trying to make his life more painful but actually was operating out of love for him. Paul's dad had personally experienced the pain of poverty and didn't want that for any of his children. So he taught them to always work hard and do what guaranteed a stable income for the family.

That meant anything enjoyable, even if it could eventually provide a decent living, had to be done on the side.

Freedom To Do What You Love

John worked with Paul to remove the emotional blocks that were keeping him from doing what he loved and what energized him. Paul knew he could be financially successful as a performer and entertainer, but always had this invisible force which came against him when he tried to focus solely on that work.

Now that he was free of those blocks, he no longer felt compelled to continue his marketing work with his clients. Instead of using his financial resources to cover his loss of income from his job, he was now enjoying his work at the radio station while also focusing on creating podcasts and other digital media content which fell within his higher purpose or calling.

Success Is Within You Not Around You

Admittedly, Paul knows his income would have increased dramatically if he had pursued his marketing work, but his joy and fulfillment would have decreased because he wasn't doing what he was inherently gifted to do.

John asked Paul to spend some time being aware of what he felt in his body when he thought about running a marketing agency and then what he felt when he thought about being on a stage or behind a microphone sharing his passion and entertaining his audience. 

Success is something you FEEL within you, not something you SEE around you.

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There was no question in Paul's mind or his body, the place he belonged was behind that microphone. 

Tracking and Noticing is The Key

"The answers are found within you, when you are still and wait for them."

- John Hawkins Jr.

In the past, Paul had learned how to "shift his state" to push THROUGH the blocks. These tools and resources he used for this state shift were beneficial but only temporarily. He was forcing his way through the blocks rather than completely removing them. This was exhausting and ultimately led to an extremely high level of burnout.

When John worked with Paul to have him track and notice what he was feeling in his body as he thought of being a performer or entertainer, strangely, Paul felt guilt over his lack of responsibility for his family. John had him sit with that and continue to track and notice whatever happened in his body. 

As this process continued, Paul had memories of his dad show up in his head. It was in these memories that he realized he was worried his dad would think he wasn't doing what he had to do to provide for this family.

Paul sat with that feeling for quite some time, allowing it to become fully processed within. As he continued to simply sit quietly with that thought, he suddenly had a flash pop into his head,

 "I remember when I told my dad I was quitting my job as an engineer at a Fortune 100 company and going to work in radio. He was thrilled for me and he said he passed on an opportunity to go into TV years ago and regretted it."

Remove the Block and Potential Flows

John pointed out how once the negative memory was fully processed and experienced, it opened Paul's mind up to allow the positive to come through and reinforce his desire to do what he felt called to do, entertain.

For decades Paul struggled with this block, keeping him from pursuing his passion. Even when Paul did go into radio, he worked part time as a real estate agent and took on extra work doing appearances on the weekend. This block kept him from simply doing what he loved and accepting that it had a real and stable value. 

Replace the Negative with Positive

This is a vital part of reconsolidating your implicit memories and something that shouldn't be overlooked. Take the time to experience the new positive emotions you're feeling. This means REALLY experience them.

As Paul's blocks and memories of him at his worst disappeared, John had him bring up new empowering mental experiences of himself at his best.

"Imagine yourself on a stage and everyone is laughing and clapping as you share your insight. How does that make you feel?"

This is what John had Paul sit with for an extended period of time while John observed Paul's facial expressions and body language. He could tell when Paul was truly FELLING that emotion in his body. That's when he had him sit with that and just be aware of how it feels. 

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Don't light the charcoal too soon

When you put lighter fluid on charcoal briquettes, you have to let them soak in before you light them. If you don't, the fluid burns off before the briquettes start to burn.


When you sit with the emotional feelings of a new positive and energizing experience for an extended period of time, you allow new neural pathways to develop which have a lasting effect on your implicit memory.

More Powerful Than a State Change

If you've ever experienced a Tony Robbins event, you've seen and maybe even experienced his work helping people change their state when they're held back by negative experiences. This is incredibly powerful and a useful tool for us all have available.

Unfortunately, this mental state change or shift often needs to be reset. If we don't stay diligent about it we risk lapsing back into our old ways. This is because a state change or shift isn't replacing our implicit memories with new ones, it's simply pushing them to the side. 

Again, this is very powerful, but once you've experienced what we discuss in this episode, you never have to worry about that negative memory blocking you again. It's completely gone and not just shifted out of the picture.

So, Was It Fear or Wisdom?

Originally, Paul made the decision to sell his home and go "all in" on his marketing business when he was still operating under his old state of mind with all of those negative blocks. 

Now that Paul feels free to do what energizes him and fulfills his passion and purpose, he's able to make a new decision in that new mental and emotional state and have complete clarity and peace about it.

Paul now has a very well defined "Clean Why" which is pushing him beyond his previous success to the next level where that success is internal as well as external. 

How to Get a Deeper Understanding

If you've just finished reading this and you want to know more about how this works, take a few minutes and listen to the episode in the player below. You can also listen to the show in your favorite podcast player. We've included links to the most popular ones just below the player.

In the next episode we explain the importance of having a clearly defined WHY and also look at the difference between a Clean Why and a Dirty Why. Make sure you subscribe to the show so you don't miss it. 

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